The letter you will never read

Dear dear love of mine,

To answer your question, yes, I’ve thought of you, more than I’ve wished I’d do. I’ve tried to teach myself to see the world in a different way, a way I can call my own. If I must be honest, I shall confess I much rather the way the world looks through your eyes. Every night I lay on my bed, and open my window, and not a night passes by without the stars whispering to me the story of us. It is hard to fall asleep without your silence next to mine or your soft palm against my cheek. You felt so right, and the idea of your arm wrapped around my waist felt like home. I ask you, the man with all the answers to my curious questions, can a girl be a stranger among everyone that’s ever seen her grow old?  Yes my love, I’ve dreamt of you, hoping you, too, would dream about me. At times I feel I’m about to ignite from the sole thought of you not ever holding me in your arms. I am an ember, red and about to burn everything to dust. Teaching myself to breath is what I do when I’m not thinking about you. It is proper to say I am homeless. Everyone is a stranger, and I, too, am a stranger to them. I often wonder if I’ll ever be able to show me to them like I showed you. The voice inside my head almost immediately answers – No.-I erase you and rebuild you in my mind, and each and every time I think I’ve fallen out of love, I happen to realize I have just fallen even deeper in love. Will this ever go away? How I wish it would! How I wish I wouldn’t have to wish it would… Not a day passes by when I don’t have to fight hard the urge to write you back. It is oh so hard to keep myself away, yet it is the better than coming back to what I already know awaits. Never had I done such a difficult thing. Never had I wished to be in somebody’s arms like this. Yet tonight, my very dear love, I’ll close my curtain and dream there was never such thing to miss. 

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