The Distance

Distance is what I feel. Distance is the one thing I don’t know how to beat alone…the one thing I wish I could. I walk under the cloudy sky, hands in my pockets. I get the feeling I could walk forever thinking about where we went astray. I still don’t know the answer. In my mind, the story starts. My room, your studio. I remember the clock and seeing its numbers change really fast, as if it had lost its purpose. I remember not being sure if it was day or night. I remember the feeling. I was a white cloud, that light and that clear. I feel like I’ve fallen off my bed. The pavement is wet and my ears are cold. I can’t forget the heat inside my chest when I was asleep. It felt so real I doubt this is what is real. I want to go back to sleep. I want to get back under the covers. I’m a story character out of my book. I find I don’t like the real world as I thought I could. Is the cold catching up with me? Do I want to laugh or cry? Most of the time when it comes to you I no longer know. I am a knot. I imagine you in the same studio we used to talk for hours, the same place where you made me think impossible might be possible. You’re passing back and forth, a book here, another there. Is that your anesthesia? I wish I wasn’t immune to it. What kind of evil spell is this? Is it beyond my magic? I can’t beat this spell alone. I have wondered if such a potion exists so powerful that can make me forget and take what is left. I can’t. Even now that there is a You and a Me, sometimes joined by and, sometimes without it, I keep remembering Us.